Since he been gone
by Miss Shallott
Summary: An x-men AU fan fiction about two men and how the lines between love, lust, revenge and sanity begin to blur. Discontinued.
1. Chapter 1

Since He Been Gone

Scott could clearly remember the first time he touched Logan. It was in Canada, and he had frostbite in his hands from the weather. He had been thinking one thing: _'Let's get this over with.'_ After blasting that big furry guy (Sabretooth) into some trees and slicing through Marie's (Rogue's) seatbelt, he had let Ororo take care of the girl and moved on to the hood. He had noticed someone splayed out there. But he hadn't seen who it was. Ororo shouted something about a fire and without thinking Scott's hands found the man's arms and pulled. The two X-men barely got away from the trailer (not that Logan would have cared) and they threw their rescues to the ground as the entire truck exploded in a terrible fury. Scott didn't notice the man's face until then. The rugged features pulled him in like a magnet. The chocolate brown hair seemed to beg to be touched, but Scott held back. The eyes fluttered open and then shut, with a beautiful feral look. Scott also noticed, as he pulled the man back to the jet, that the frostbite in his hands was gone. In fact, his whole body might have been a bit too warm.

The whole way back the girl was checking on the man, who he learned was named Logan (_Logan_). He tried not to let anyone notice that he was checking on the man too, who was still unconscious. They were both transferred to the med bay as soon as they got back to the mansion. Marie was released early and sent to a dorm. Scott wanted to wait for Logan but Jean shooed him out with a knowing smile. He and Jean had been best friends for a long time. Even without her telepathic powers, she could tell that something was up. Figuratively and literally. Scott tried to move on with his day, but his mind kept going back to the man lying in that bed with the feral eyes.

As Scott was preparing for bed, clad in nothing but his boxers, the man appeared at his door. Not in his door, actually, but right in his room. The lights reflected the predatory gleam in his eyes. Scott turned around and yelped, too scared (embarrassed) to cover up his erection. The man smirked.

"I'm Logan." He said, in that deep voice like water tumbling over rocks. "Jeannie says you saved me." Scott could only nod. Logan grunted, took one long gaze over Scott's body, and smirked. "Thanks."

"No problem." Mumbled Scott, now noticing that his bedroom door was wide open. _Shit. _

"You're Scott, right?" Scott nodded. Logan's smirk widened. "We should work out sometime. Go out for a drink after. Like friends or something, eh?" Scott stood there, nodding like a ninny. Logan smiled and shut the door. "Night Slim." Scott's normal stonic look returned, but he couldn't help but flush a deep crimson (much like his eye beams).


	2. Chapter 2

Dedicated, he took the time

_(Not much, but he tried)_

Logan cornered Scott the next day, pinning him to the wall outside the professor's office with a relaxed stare and a knowing look. Logan was being shown the mansion, asked if he wanted to stay or not. Scott knew he should have been able to tell from the start that Logan wasn't going to stay. But that look in Logan's eyes when he barked out "Hey!" made Scott stop in his tracks despite an urgent need to go to the bathroom.

"Wanna go for that drink?"

"You may not have noticed, Logan," and the façade was back in place, "but Magento has a plan, that involves you. It may not be the best time for…"

"If you ask me," Logan interrupted, strutting towards Scott with hands on hips and that feral look in his eyes, "now is the perfect time. I know a place, not far from here. I don't care if they come for me, I've been running all my life." Scott could have sworn he saw sorrow flash in Logan's eyes (maybe guilt). "Come on Slim. Humour me."

"Fine." Growled Scott, mentally digging his nails into his palms.

"Great." Logan smirked (he never smiled; only smirked). "Tomorrow night." He turned around and finally began to walk away, cowboy boots clicking on the hard wood floors. Scott let out a sigh of relief. Too soon, because Logan turned around again. "Slim?"

"Yeah?"

"We're taking your bike."

Scott had three memories from that night. The first was Logan letting him drive. That was surprising. Logan didn't seem the type to let Scott drive (even if it was his own bike). Scott remembered almost crashing into a very large tree because he had been shocked when halfway through the ride, Logan's arms wrapped around him. He was even more shocked when Logan moved forward and he could feel something pressing into his back, and he hoped that it wasn't a hip.

The second memory was Logan getting into a fight with a guy at the bar. He had just asked Scott if he was single, and that was a pretty risky move at a normal bar. Logan punched him in the face. Scott was shocked. Logan growled at the man and it looked like his claws were going to come out. Scott grabbed Logan's arm. Logan turned around and kissed him. Not a gentle kiss, like you saw in the movies that the kids at the institute watched. It was hard and needy and desperate and claiming. When Logan's teeth drifted across Scott's lower lip it felt like 'Property of Logan' was being branded onto his soul. Scott had been kissed before, but not like this. Never like this.

The third memory was of Logan driving them home from the bar. As soon as they arrived home, Logan dragged Scott down into the lover level of the building, where the "x-jet" was kept.


	3. Chapter 3

Now Logan was gone.

He had left while Scott, Jean and Ororo had taken the kids to a museum. With Scott's bike. He didn't say goodbye. He didn't leave any trace of his smell or his things in Scott's room. He had even fixed the claw marks in the headboard. Scott slept on a couch most nights. He only went into his room to cry dry tears.

Scott wasn't only losing sleep. He was losing weight. He still managed to teach but his students noticed what was going on. He stayed by himself most of the time when he wasn't in class. Jean was always angry. Scott thought it was at him.

Jean _was_ angry, but not at Scott. She was angry with Logan. Logan, stupid seductive Logan. He didn't know what Scott had gone through. Selfish bastard. If she had her way, Logan would never come back. Then Scott could heal.

It was 3 months later and Logan was still gone. Scott hadn't smiled since.

Logan knelt outside of the Institute. Logan could never leave. Not now. He had to make sure that Slim, his Scott, was okay. But Slim wasn't. In fact, Slim was getting slimmer. It was killing Logan to watch. But that was all he could do. Watch.

He would go to the institute whenever he got the chance. He would wake up in the night, sweating and crying. He tried to tell himself it was from the long hard day, but he knew that was bullshit. He missed Scott. He had made a mistake, letting the kid in. He couldn't take it back, but he was endangering the kid. And he couldn't do that. To any of them, they were good people. He was an animal on the hunt, and he wasn't going to let Scott get sucked into his madness. But he already was, just by the virtue of the hunt, and that hurt worst of all.

It was night. Around 11:30 by Logan's inner clock. He had been watching Scott's room for hours. The kid was just sitting there. There were lights, so Scott was probably watching TV. Yep, TV; Scott threw his remote at the wall. 'Magneto.' Hissed Logan. Only Scott's former teacher could make him that angry. _And me,_ mused Logan. The TV snapped off. Scott began to pace his room, his hands gripping chestnut hair and muttering. Logan almost smiled. Scott was so cute when he was angry.

Scott sighed deeply and strechted, lifting his shirt up slightly to reveal his pale well-muscled stomach. Logan gasped, looking at the bones that were protruding from Scott's perfect skin. Scott walked to the dresser and began taking off his clothes.

Despite how thin he'd become, Scott still had a lot of muscle. 'Little' Logan instantly shot up. Scott put his shirt in the dresser and reached for his pyjamas, then stopped. He was looking at something, judging by the way his head was tilted down. And then the kid smiled. Logan almost melted, his hands drifting down to his aching hardness. Scott began taking off his pants as he walked over to the bed. Logan smiled, licking his lips. These were some of his favourite nights.

Scott slowly ran his hands up and down his body, digging his nails into pale skin. Logan couldn't help it. He reached down and grabbed himself, rubbing in circles on the rough denim covering him. Scott toyed with himself; running nails down his neck and stomach. _'He's doing it like I would.'_ Logan thought, instantly getting so hard it hurt. Scott couldn't take it anymore and grabbed his throbbing member, stroking it slowly. Logan did the same, squeezing the same way Scott did and pumping in the same rhythm. And with his acute hearing, he heard a moan.

"Logan…"

"Scott!" cried Logan, releasing his dick from its confines and pumping frantically. He had never been so aroused. Watching Scott pleasure himself to him, and not being able to touch him was almost too much to bear. He could feel himself getting to his peak much faster then he normally would. _'Damn, the kid really gets to me.' _Scott was panting hard and moaning now, his face flushed and lips open wide. Logan smiled. He was proud, damn proud, that he could get the beautiful man to get like that. Scott was so close, he could tell.

Then the door swung open.

"Scott, is something…" Jean quickly slowed her speech, taking in the scene before her. That was not what she had wanted to see. EVER. Scott blushed a deep red. Jean cleared her throat. "Oops."

"It's fine." Mumbled Scott, grabbing his covers. Logan growled. _'Damn Red'. _Jean's eyes shot to the window. Logan frantically leapt from the tree, landing in a large rose bush. Healing factor or not, that hurt. He prayed Jean hadn't seen him. He listened, hearing footsteps leaving Scott's room. And coming down the stairs. To the front door. Logan dashed from the bush to his bike, jamming the key and twisting it until there was a dent in it. As the motor roared to life, he stole one last glance back. He expected to see Jean, enraged and ready to halt his bike at 100km an hour and send him flying into a tree or truck. But as he looked back, he saw Scott standing. He stared at Logan. He was still breathing hard and only wore his jeans, nipples standing on edge from the cold. Scott stared, and Logan could practically feel the want and the longing rolling off of the young x-man. Logan tried to turn around. But he shook his head and drove away.

The image haunted him for months.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry about taking so long to update. I hope this chapter is alright for you x-men slash fans.

Scott remembered the first time someone told him they loved him.

It was a long time ago, before the mutation. Before he lost Alex. God, how he loved his baby brother Alex. He was the first person Scott had ever professed love to, far before his parents and far before he knew what it meant. When Alex came home from the hospital, Scott barely left his brother's side. He would hold him, and sing to him, and tell him stories. And, after a while, told the baby that he loved him and that as his brother, he would make sure no harm would ever come to him. Alex had decided that moment was an opportune one to make a "stinker", which his brother lovingly changed.

When Scott and Alex were 8 and 6, at Christmas time, Scott had bought Alex a gift as he did every year. Not just any gift, though. Scott had saved all his allowance since January to buy his brother a leather jacket. Just like the one their dad wore. Scott could barely sleep on Christmas Eve because he wanted to see his brother's face when he opened the gift. And it was a face to end all faces. Alex was all definitions of happy at the same time as he tore open the paper loosely wrapped around the jacket. He threw his arms around his older brother, and whispered in his ear, "I love you Scott." Their parents wasted no time in taking a picture. Scott held the picture now, staring at his brother and trying not to think that on Boxing Day he would lose his best friend, never to get him back.

He would only find out that his brother had been alive for years after, but had been seized by the government after the accident that killed their parents and experimented on until his death. Probably calling out for his brother, who never bothered to check for him. Who just gave up his hope when he could have done something. Scott put the picture down, went out to the balcony, and stared at the doves nesting in the trees.

Logan remembered the first time someone had ever told him they loved him. It was something he could never forget.

The memory had been discovered by accident by the professor in one of their 'sessions.' Logan could still feel the bricks rubbing against his back, scraping little patterns that would heal and reappear. He could feel teeth on his neck, tearing his neck open like a savage vampire. He was pinned to the bricks, by an older male. And he wasn't just tearing at his neck. Logan felt himself tear open from the inside, and heard a scream escape his lips. The other just grinned, an evil feral grin, and bit harder and thrust faster and oh god the pain the pain the pain…and stopped. Logan felt the ground suddenly, just as hard as the attacker had been. They pulled him up by the hair, and spat in his face before throwing him back down. And then the man had smiled again, and said, "I love you, Logan."

Professor had pulled out of Logan's mind and just stared. He just sat staring at Logan as Logan let tears run down his face. Not sobbing, not crying, just letting tears run down his face and hit the floor. Without warning, the same feelings came over him again and again and again, but Logan realised that there was a different voice, a voice screaming for mercy. The memories were not his, Logan realised. They were all tinted red.

Professor didn't bother to stop Logan from leaving. Logan went to his room, grabbed his jacket, and left. Nothing could stop him from his pursuit of vengeance. Professor had given him a clue, an important clue, to his past, and Scott was connected. They were tied together by a shared pain, and Logan was going to cut the string. No matter how much it hurt him to leave Scott now. No matter how much it hurt to leave and not tell Scott where he was going. No matter what.

Professor Xavier would not tell Scott either. Scott would disapprove of Logan's venture whole heartedly, and try to stop him. That was because Scott was a good person. Logan wasn't.

And sometimes, good wasn't the answer. Especially for rapists.


	5. Chapter 5

To Scott, birthdays had always been a strange occasion. Mainly because he couldn't remember his, and Jean had chosen to celebrate it on the anniversary of the day the professor found him. More often than not he'd forget the date up until Ororo's home-made cupcakes showed up on his desk. He did love the day, though. It was always nice to know that someone cared. This particular 'birthday' though, no amount of cupcakes could make him feel loved. He wondered if Logan even knew what the day meant. If Logan celebrated his birthday, or a special event. All he could think about was Logan. Even on a day that was supposed to be his.

While laughing along with the students playfully trying to guess his age, Scott heard a rumbling outside. It was the unmistakable sound of a motorcycle. He leapt from his desk, barely pausing to mumble a scrambled explanation to his students, and ran out the door of the mansion. His normally perfectly groomed hair dishevelled itself as he tripped on the gravel lining the driveway of the school. His smile fell as he looked out at the pavement. There was a motorcycle there, all right. But Hank was riding it.

"Happy Birthday, Scott, my boy." Hank beamed, dismounting the bike. Scott tried to re-paste a smile on his face, but Hank could see through it. "I know it isn't exactly what you wanted…"

"It's fine." Scott said walking to the bike. He ran his hand over the handles, and brushed the blue fur off on his pants. "It's beautiful, Hank."

"The professor picked it out. I just test-drove it." Hank passed a helmet into Scott's hands, mimicking Scott and shaking out left over fur. "We thought you'd love it."

The students were starting to gather around the bike, having been disturbed by Scott running out. They stared in odd and remarked on the paint job. Scott wished he could see it, but he was happy to have a bike again. Jean smiled at him as Ororo took the opportunity of student's interest to explain the mechanics of a motor bike. The students congratulated him, all staring up at him with genuine respect in their eyes. Ororo even mentioned that Scott had taught her mechanics. Scott knew he couldn't leave this world. He smiled, hugging Hank and all of his friends. For once, thoughts of Logan were gone from his mind as he basked in happiness.

The professor appeared behind him, smiling as he picked gravel from the grooves in his wheel chair's wheels. "Do you like it?" he asked. Scott nodded, kneeling to hug his mentor. Professor had a brown paper package resting in his lap. Scott looked at it in confusion.

"It was on my desk yesterday, with instructions not to give it to you until your birthday." Professor held it up, looking at it. "It's heavy, and it feels like there's liquid in it." Scott took it from his hands nervously, pulling off one corner of the brown wrapping paper. A smell drifted out through the opening. Scott held it away from him, tearing off the paper in macabre curiosity. The package was wrapped in two layers of paper, and the second layer was covered in blood. Scott screamed and dropped the package on the ground.

Jean stepped in, and unwrapped the paper with her telekinesis, and screamed herself. Lying on the mansion's lawn was a severed hand, still leaking dark red blood onto brown packing paper. The bones were sliced cleanly, at an angle so that the surrounding crowd could see the dried bone marrow. The blood flowed over a message written on the paper: Happy birthday Scott.

Scott fainted.


End file.
